Jessica sure knows how to talk purdy

I'm not sure what's more funny about this clip. The fact that the guy taking the video called Jessica Simpson's Mom "Mrs. Spears," or the fact that Jessica Simpson proves, once again, what an idiot she is. Apparently it's okay to say "Indian giver" if you're from Texas. Y'know, because everything's better there.

I think I might know why Tony Romo dumped her the day before her birthday. It had nothing to do with her neediness. I think it might be because every time they were enjoying each other's company in the bedroom, she'd start hollering some Texas saying. I've heard that her favorites included:

"Beat me like a rented mule!!"
"Hey, nobody ever drowned in sweat."
"You are busier than a cat trying to cover up crap on a marble floor!"
"Can we cuddle, Tony? I'm as cold as a witch's tit."
"Oh, wow! This ain't your first rodeo, is it?!"
"I can't cotton to that, Tony!"
"Every time I stand up, my mind sits down."
"When dealin' with a slick son of a b...., start off by pinnin' him down and changin' his oil."