Rock Lobster

Lady GaGa has gone and done it.  She's gone and outdone herself.  She sported this little outfit while out and about in the UK this weekend.  I'm not entirely sure the relevance of lobster hat to latex nurse dress, but what I find most interesting is the "bracelet" she's wearing.  Is that a plastic yellow hand?  Is she honoring Mr. Burns from the Simpsons?  Or is this the new "Live Strong" bracelet? 

[Image via Perez Hilton]

The Bounty Hunter

Someone, preferably a friend or, heck, maybe even her agent, really needs to sit Jennifer Aniston down and have the talk. Y'know, the one where they tell her she's a really sweet girl and she has her shit together and she's super cute. Get her all smiling and gushing "oh, stop," while playfully slapping your hand. And then, just lay it on the table: honey, you need to stop doing movies. I know, it's harsh, but let's break it down:


TV career:
Friends - that says it all. She was fantastic on Friends.
South Park - very funny as Mrs. Stevens the Choir Teacher
King of Hill - again, funny stint as Pepporoni Sue
30 Rock - by far her funniest and most brilliant role since Friends. Yeah, she nailed it.

Movie Career:
Office Space - she was flaretastic.
Rock Star - definitely not a star. More like a flicker.
Along Came Polly - along came my finger to hit fast forward.
Derailed - a definite train wreck. I so wanted to like this one, too, because of Clive Owen.
Rumor Has It - yes, rumor had it that you were one of the top paid actresses. That didn't last long.
Love Happens - so doesn't anger, especially after watching this movie (I'm sure).

So, to sum it up: I do like Jen. I do. But, seriously, she needs to maybe consider a TV role again and get out of the movies. Maybe she can join her BFF Courtney on Cougar Town. I don't know how or why that show is doing so well (I have yet to see it), but maybe she could play a Puma. Oh, wait, never mind. That's the name of one of her upcoming movies.

The dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger

What's surprising to me is I'm not all that distraught over Ke$ha's outfit (maybe the cane), but it's the guy standing behind her with that very suspect, and quite disgusting, facial hair on his chin.  What IS that???  Seriously, does this guy think that, paired with the shaved head, that the chin hair makes him look even more bad ass?  Like, there's no way anyone will eff with him or Ke$ha because it makes him look like he's just always growling.  Sorry, dude, but I'm going to say that the chin hair makes me want to eff with you even more than I normally would (and no, I wouldn't normally want to mess with this guy because I'm not the kind of person who walks around scrapping with strangers, although I still have a lot of scrapping years left).

One other thing: do you think that Lady GaGa is getting seriously annoyed by all these wannabes?  Or do you think that she's flattered because since she's come onto the scene, other weird definitely out there individuals have thought, "hey, if she can do it, well, so can I."  Madonna is probably pissed.  Gone are the days when people idolized her and wanted to be like a virgin.  Now we've got people running around dry humping cops,  not wearing any pants anywhere, and wanting to get hammered while swimming in a kiddie pool with an inflatable whale.  Wait a minute...that actually sounds a lot better than being a virgin.  And now I know what I'm doing this weekend.

[Image via Splash News]

16 going on 45

Seriously, this is madness.  Poor Ali Lohan appears to be absorbing the horror that is her sister's life, because this girl is only 16 and she looks like she's birthed four kids, divorced three times, and smokes two packs of cigarettes a day.  I mean, what?  Maybe she should look into botox or something.  She should call Nicole Kidman and ask her what would be her best plan of action, because at the rate she's going, she'll be dead in a few years.

[Image via Splash News]