Whoa, I think my brain just exploded. Could you even imagine this scenario? Here, let me help you:Howard (to AI contestant): Listen, you were horrible. You sounded like my ex-wife when we were doing it doggy style on Wednesday nights.
Randy Jackson: Ohhhhhhh, H-Dog, family show here, family show.
Howard: Randy, stop being a pussy. This broad is terrible. She's gotta nice rack, but her voice is bad.
Kara: Howard! As a woman, I'm incredibly offended by what you're saying!
Howard: Oh, please, Kara. You're only saying that because you think that's what you should say. F--k you. There's a dirty little tramp hiding inside you (nudges Ellen Degeneres and winks at her) and I'm sure your husband is somewhere in the audience right now nodding his head in agreement.
Ellen: don't touch me.
Howard: Ellen, you know you miss the penis. Well, if you don't, you haven't been introduced to mine. However, I do find lesbians incredibly hot. Well, not you because your too old. But, your wife. YES!
Randy: I agree 100 billion percent.
Ryan: Uh, guys, can we get back to the judging here?
Howard: right. Yeah, sorry sugartits, but you're not going to make it in Hollywood. As a singer, anyway. I could help you make it if you're intersted in doing softcore porn. I mean, that ass is like--
Ryan: THIIIIIIISSSS is American Idol.
