Um, nice face, Rick Springfield. How's all that cosmetic surgery treating you? Your friend Jessie, y'know, that good friend of yours? Well, he's slacking in his friend duties by not telling you to lay off the face reconstruction. Also, stop hanging out with Chriss Angel. You're starting to look like his freaky "I used to be a cool singer in the 80s" twin brother. I bet Jessie's girl is happy she's not your girl. Y'know that mirror you're lookin in, trying to figure out what she don't see in you? I think that mirror needs to be cleaned.
[Image via Pop Sugar]
