Everyone is a Vampire!

I find this so incredibly awesome that I can't even stand it.  You guys have surely heard about this already, but word on the internets is that photographic proof has been found that Nicolas Cage is a vampire from the Civil War era.  I mean, we can't argue with photographic proof, people!  Just look at that picture.  It's totally Nic Cage as a vampire pretending to be a highly respectful (um, bow tie says it all) and educated thespian from the late 1800s.  Totally. 

And now we can add John Travolta to that vampire list.  MORE photographic proof has been uncovered that John Travolta was also a Civil War gentleman turned vamper!  Eeeek!  I'm going to be totally pissed if, in a couple of months, these two announce that they're doing a Civil War vamper flick together and that these damn photos were leaked by an intern (named Nicolas Travolta) to create buzz. 

So, who's next?  Um, how about Sean Young?  Or Richard Grieco?  Oh oh oh!  Gary Busey!  He can already unhinge his jaw, so yeah, he's definitely a vampire.