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Brad looks like he's enjoying his time traipsing around Germany to promote his new movie, Inglorious Basterds. I love pictures of drunk people. And I would love to be in the room when Ang sees this little snapshot. Do you think she'll be pissed? I think she'll be pissed. Y'know, because she lost her iron clad grip on his coin purse long enough for him to have a night out on the town.
There is so much wrong with this outfit. I don't even know where to begin. First of all, what are those pants? Do I see pleats? And what is with the ankle fit? And where's the rest of her shirt? I'm so confused... Is this how Kimmy dresses post break-up? Maybe Reggie was her stylist and they had creative differences, hence the split. Kim, baggy on top and baggy on bottom = bad idea. Doesn't she own a clothing store? Shouldn't people that own a clothing store know how to dress well?
I'm not sure what's more funny about this clip. The fact that the guy taking the video called Jessica Simpson's Mom "Mrs. Spears," or the fact that Jessica Simpson proves, once again, what an idiot she is. Apparently it's okay to say "Indian giver" if you're from Texas. Y'know, because everything's better there.
I think I might know why Tony Romo dumped her the day before her birthday. It had nothing to do with her neediness. I think it might be because every time they were enjoying each other's company in the bedroom, she'd start hollering some Texas saying. I've heard that her favorites included:
"Beat me like a rented mule!!" "Hey, nobody ever drowned in sweat." "You are busier than a cat trying to cover up crap on a marble floor!" "Can we cuddle, Tony? I'm as cold as a witch's tit." "Oh, wow! This ain't your first rodeo, is it?!" "I can't cotton to that, Tony!" "Every time I stand up, my mind sits down." "When dealin' with a slick son of a b...., start off by pinnin' him down and changin' his oil."
Alf and I have been sucked into the True Blood series on HBO, often throwing in a few catch phrases from the show into our every day life. The producers of the show announced at Comic-Con last week that the TruBlood drink will be hitting shelves soon. No need to fret, it's not real blood. Well, not human blood, anyway. The drink is made from the juice of blood oranges. You can pre-order your four pack online for only $16.
And now for your viewing pleasure, one of my favorite lines from the series, spoken by Bill Compton, Vampire.
Ok, so not really, but I can't help but jump at any excuse to have a sexy party. This time, though, it's in poor taste. So, sorry.
The Emmy nominated Family Guy is having some issues getting an upcoming risqu� episode to air. Um, I thought risqu� and Family Guy went hand in hand, no?? Creator Seth MacFarlane said: �20th Century Fox� allowed us to produce this episode and then said, �You know what? We�re scared to f---ing death of this.��
And now, a sexy party compliments of Stewie Griffin.
Something happened this weekend that I didn't actually believe until I looked it up online (what did we ever do without the internet?). Alf was flipping through the channels and stopped on 9 1/2 Weeks, a movie that neither one of us has ever seen, but we do know of it because of the infamous sexy food scene. So, I'm watching and I'm like, who IS that hot guy?? And Alf said, "can you believe that's Mickey Rourke."I spit out my red bull. Or my wine. All right, who are we kidding. My wine. So, this is Mickey Rourke from the 80's.
Totally hot, totally doable. I like.
And here he is today.
Now, I get it. The movie is 23 years old. People age. And, apparently, Mickey has had a pretty rough life. But, I was so flustered by the fact that, here I was, swooning and practically drooling over this hot guy in 9 1/2 weeks and it was Mickey Rourke. Didn't see that one coming.
[Images via Gordon and the Whale and Get Back Images]
I read in some celebrity gossip magazine this weekend that Kristen Stewart was so excited to see Robert Pattinson at Comic-Con in San Diego (they've been rumored to have an off screen romance and both have been filming movies on opposite coasts for the last three months) that she was planning to "wow" him by looking the hottest she's ever looked. And then I saw pics of all the Twilight hotties at Comic-Con. Um, either Kristen has no clue as to what it means to look hot or those celebrity magazines are just full of lies. And we all know it's definitely not the latter.
I didn't catch the live version and I have to say I'm glad. Mrs. Scientology's performance was talked and teased and dangled in front of us for months. And this is it? I mean, really? This. Is. It? How... booooooring. Aside from her gorgeous gams, what else is there to look at here? The back up dancers do a better job dancing than she does. There's no action. No spark. No... dancing.
Oddly, I'm not at all surprised by this news. The owner of... wait for it... God, Guns, Guts, and American Pick-up Trucks is battling the recession by giving away an AK-7 assault rifle with any pick-up truck purchase in the month of August.
"It's extremely successful. There is a lot of worry about crime, we have a methamphetamine problem around here and people just want to protect themselves," said the boss of Max Motors. "And what could be better than supporting American products in these troubled times?"
The photo is false advertising though, Mr. Muller. That ain't no pick-up truck and surely the jack ass in the photo doesn't come with the purchase, right?
Yup, that's Fergie. The Duchess was heading to a Dodgers game when she, uh, needed some readjusting. Y'know how there's all those rumors floating around that she's a dude? Well, she's certainly not helping. Maybe she's not packin anything manly. Maybe she's just adjusting her Relax-A-Cizor.
So, this is wonderfully fantastic news. Jimmy Choo has signed on to design accessories for H&M! Which means, yes, they will be affordable without losing the allure and utter sass that is Jimmy Choo.
The collection will hit select stores in November.
Someone snapped a picture of Madonna sitting at her dining room table during a dinner party. One guest gushed how great the food was while another complained that the only source of lighting was the spotlight fixed solidly on Madge, making it difficult to see what was being served.
Russell Brand was out and about in Malibu, CA yesterday wearing that. I'm pretty sure he can afford a sweater that doesn't have holes or tears. The the most amazing thing to me is that he wore this and still picked up a hot chick. It's gotta be the accent, right? Nah. I'm sure it's those nipples. I mean, women love male British nipples. [Image via Splash News]
This is probably the best thing I heard all weekend. And, it's still making me laugh. Apparently, Lindsay Lohan was offered the stripper role in The Hangover and she turned it down because, and I quote, "she didn't like the script." In case you live under a rock, the movie is cleaning up at the box office, and has become the second highest earning R rated comedy EVER (behind Beverly Hills Cop).
She didn't like the script. I'm still shaking my head at that one. The fact that she starred in I Know Who Killed Me, which was by far one of the worst movies EVER produced, should probably tell us a little bit about what kind of scripts Linds likes. So, funny stripper movie: no. Ridiculous separated at birth stripper movie with crazed serial killer music teacher: definitely.
She didn't like the script. That's like Britney saying no to Cheetos because she doesn't like the color orange.
Have you seen this boy? Uh, yeah. The real world kidnapped him and totally kicked the shit out of him. He's gone from Terminator kid to married with kids to soon to be divorced with kids.
I'm pretty sure that if your life's ambition is selling spray tan, well, then you should know how to apply it properly. The way the orange stops at her ankles really does compliment her eyes. I guess no one is really surprised by her inability to do at least one thing right... given that she's getting sued for said spray tan.
Nah. Does Cate's face look like she's enjoying sitting next to the girl who talks about pinching a loaf at a friend's house and then not flushing? Cate looks pained. Embarrassed. Pissed in a very polite British way that there is now documentation of her sitting next to the girl who was quoted in April saying, "I'm not trying to take Cate Blanchett down."
Let's think about that quote for a minute. Let it hover. What exactly does Megan mean by this quote? Certainly, she can NOT be implying that her acting abilities are remotely close to Cate's, because that's just ridiculous. Absurd, really. And, seriously, what is that smile she's smiling? Is she impersonating herself sitting on her friend's toilet, pooping?
Let's recap a few other stellar quotes from the incredibly wise and huge feminist, Megan Fox:
"I go to the set thinking I'm not going to have any female friends, because that's the reality of the business. From what I've experienced, women aren't good friends to one another. When guys want to hang out with you because your personality is badass, women immediately hate you." - Maxim, July 2007
"Zac Efron is my obsession, we're the same person. We're not actually here, it's like Janet and Michael Jackson. He just puts on his wig and a dress, and it's me, and you don't know that. It's one of the greatest mysteries of all time." - GQ Man of the Year Event, 2008
"Before I go onstage anywhere, I take a Xanax now." - GQ, October 2008
"Well, I'm clearly not ugly." - Entertainment Weekly, June 2009
"I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That's what our purpose is in this business. You're merchandised, you're a product. You're sold and it's based on sex. But that's okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded." - Entertainment Weekly, June 2009
"I thought it was awesome [being sexualized at a young age]. I was going to a Christian high school and I wasn't a feminist yet." - Entertainment Weekly, June 2009
"I think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man." - Esquire, June 2009
"I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard." - Esquire, June 2009
"I've never been a big believer in formal education." - CosmoGirl, June/July 2008
"If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it's like-you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why." - GQ, October 2008
The always talented and NOT narcissistic Corey Feldman attended his old friend, Michael Jackson's, memorial service dressed up as, well, his old friend, Michael Jackson. I mean, wow.
It's definitely the year of engagements for my close circle of friends. Anna and Lou earlier this year, Meg and Dan back in May, Dan and Maggie in June, and now my good friends Jessica and Brian. I just wanted to give a huge CONGRATULATIONS to all of them and oh, yeah, post some pics of the happy couples.
Hold onto your fake boobies! Bret Michaels' tour bus was hit by an out of control car (no doubt Daisy from Rock of Love 2 was behind the wheel), but the Poison hunk and his fellow passengers walked away with only minor injuries*. Don't worry ROL fans, this accident will not hinder pre-production of ROL 3: Surprise! I'm Gay.
*Injuries include: a few of his hair extensions suffered mild exhaustion from the trauma of his bandana almost falling off his head; the sock that is usually lodged in his crotch was knocked loose and nearly escaped to freedom, but alas, was put firmly back into place; the bus driver suffered a mild concussion when a hot tub full of KY jelly and Boone's Farm Tickle Pink pinned him against the steering wheel.
Salem hasn't seen a farmers market since 1970, and from what the locals are saying, it's a tradition that they're very happy to see return. June 25th was opening day, with a huge crowd and a lot of impressed vendors. The market opened at 4pm and within an hour, the majority of the farmers had sold out of nearly all their produce. And even though it rained the second week, the market still received plenty of foot traffic, with a lot of smiling vendors.
In addition to the farms, there are a handful of other vendors, ranging from a soap maker to a lobster fisherman. As a market volunteer, I've thoroughly been enjoying mingling not just with the public, but with the vendors, musicians, and other volunteers. Past weeks vendors have been:
I'm totally digging Anne Hatheway's super casual outfit. But, stripper heels?? Um, why not a pair of flip flops or converse sneakers? Stripper heels? For a second I thought maybe she was in Vegas filming a new movie, but she's in NYC. I think she's really trying to ditch the goody two shoes image... literally... by wearing some shoes that say, "hey, I can be a bit of a dirty skank too."
Okay, I know I've said it before, but I'll continue to say it as long as people continue to dress like this.
This is what Ms. Simpson wore to a charity golf event in Maryland. I mean, sure, a charity golf event is casual, but that's the summer dress she had to wear? I would think that she has a friend or a family member (other than her father, who I'm pretty sure probably told her that her boobs, er, that she looked stunning in this getup) that would say, "um, yeah, that doesn't look so great. I'd change." Who in their right mind would tell her that this looked good?? I mean, other than Freddy Krueger? And those boobs! Holy goo. I'm not so sure she shouldn't be wearing a bra. I know for a fact that if my friend Jess (not Jess Simpson) were present after I'd put that dress on, along with the gold jewelry, she'd give me the stink eye. She would surely tell me that I looked either a.) pregnant or b.) fat. Too bad Jessica Simpson doesn't have a friend like my friend Jess.
Oddly, I'm not at all surprised by this news. The owner of... wait for it... God, Guns, Guts, and American Pick-up Trucks is battling the recession by giving away an AK-7 assault rifle with any pick-up truck purchase in the month of August.
This is probably the best thing I heard all weekend. And, it's still making me laugh. Apparently, Lindsay Lohan was offered the stripper role in The Hangover and she turned it down because, and I quote, "she didn't like the script." In case you live under a rock, the movie is cleaning up at the box office, and has become the second highest earning R rated comedy EVER (behind Beverly Hills Cop). 
Nah. Does Cate's face look like she's enjoying sitting next to the girl who talks about pinching a loaf at a friend's house and then not flushing? Cate looks pained. Embarrassed. Pissed in a very polite British way that there is now documentation of her sitting next to the girl who was quoted in April saying, "I'm not trying to take Cate Blanchett down." 
Hold onto your fake boobies! Bret Michaels' tour bus was hit by an out of control car (no doubt Daisy from Rock of Love 2 was behind the wheel), but the Poison hunk and his fellow passengers walked away with only minor injuries*. Don't worry ROL fans, this accident will not hinder pre-production of ROL 3: Surprise! I'm Gay. 
