Adam Lambert's new album

Well, it's definitely...sparkly. And definitely gay. And waaay over the top. Like his singing. The only thing missing is a rainbow, a unicorn, and Joel McHale dressed as Rainbow Brite.

Gorilla escapes local zoo and attacks innocent bystander

This is Rosie O'Donnell and her new girlfriend. Yes, new. Apparently there is more than one woman out there willing to get with that. Oh, and you can add Angelina to that list. Yes. Angelina Jolie. Rosie divulged some information recently that Angelina gave Rosie her phone number and they had made plans to meet up for "dinner." Dinner never happened, though. Shocking. I think Angelina was still going through her experimental phase. And by experimental, I mean she lost a bet and her punishment was to befriend a sturdy lesbian with a big mouth, no talent, and bingo arms.

[Image via The Daily Fix]

Meat is gross

Right? I mean, this is certainly creative given the time of year and I know all you meat eaters out there would probably try a bite, but seriously gross. Regardless of my opinion on the meat hand, Not Martha is a pretty fantastic site and definitely one you should save as your favorites.

The Tell-Tale Heart

...It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the eye of a vulture --a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees -- very gradually --I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever...

Edgar Allan Poe, 1850

There are werewolves on the loose in LA!!!

Seriously, dude... not a good look for you.

[Image via Splash News]

The Vampire and The Zombie attend a wedding

Gummy teeth?

I stumbled across gummy teeth in Amazon's Halloween store today. And, it totally creeped me out. Gummy teeth. Not to wear. But to eat. Gross.

Wait. Fergie used to be a drug addict?

I never would have guessed.

[Image via Splash News]

Madonna is... well, Madonna

So, apparently Madonna wanted to collaborate with Eminem, but he turned her down. Her thoughts? She told Rolling Stone magazine, �I wanted to work with Eminem. I don�t think he wanted to work with me. Maybe he�s shy.�

Or, maybe he thinks your music stinks? Or, maybe he thinks you'd kick the shit out of him if he disagreed with your creative vision? OR, maybe he's freaked out by your cat woman face??

Nah, you're right. It has to be because he's shy because there really are no other possibilities.

[Image via Just William 1959]

Oh, yes. Let's reward Michael Vick with a TV show.

Because, shouldn't we do this for every athlete who's the definition of stupidity? Well, it's obvious that BET needs the ratings, so why not cast a recently released from jail moron as the star of a reality series that will surely be controversial. Right? I mean, I'm writing about it, so why wouldn't a bunch of others? The fact of the matter is, regardless of the fact whether this guy is a good athlete, he's a major asshole with very little brains in his meathead head. It further proves that our society is completely going to shit. Or. OR. It's going to show that a guy, maybe a guy who's seen some adversity in his life, maybe hasn't always been dealt a winning hand, can do something really f---ing horrific and turn his life around.

Screw that shit. He's an idiot. Lock up your pitbulls, everyone. Michael Vick's new reality show just may be a ploy to hypnotize all your dogs into making their way to his house (he may even pay their airfare) so that he can get back to what he's best at: beating, murdering, and destroying a living, breathing, life. He's a murder. So, let's applaud him by putting him on TV and getting children to watch it. Well done, BET. Well done.

You are what you eat

An article in the New York Times reports that "each year, about 76 million people in the United States become ill from the food they eat, and about 5,000 of them die...The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a consumer advocacy group that tracks food safety issues, has compiled a list of 10 common foods responsible for a large number of outbreaks of food-borne illnesses."

I was pretty surprised by a few of these. Potatoes? Ice cream? Sprouts?

1. Leafy greens (363 outbreaks; 13,568 cases).
2. Eggs (352 outbreaks; 11,164 cases).

3. Tuna (268 outbreaks; 2,341 cases).
4. Oysters: 132 outbreaks; 3,409 cases.
5. Potatoes: 108 outbreaks; 3,659 cases.
6. Cheese: 83 outbreaks; 2,761 cases.
7. Ice cream: 74 outbreaks; 2,594 cases.
8. Tomatoes: 31 outbreaks; 3,292 cases.
9. Sprouts: 31 outbreaks; 2,022 cases.
10. Berries: 25 outbreaks; 3,397 cases.

To read the article in its entirety, click here.

[Image via buycostumes.com]

Cripes!!!!

This is definitely the scariest Halloween costume I've seen so far this month.

[Image via Splash News]

Unemployed? You could be Mimi's ass lifter.

What do you think weighs more? Mariah's: a.) left boob, b.) right boob, c.) ass, d.) bling, e.) diva attitude, f.) voice.

Answer: I have no idea. But, these fellas sure do look like they know the answer.

[Image via The Daily Fix]