Yes, please.

I'll take one of these. To go. Actually, room service would be better. Thanks.

Watch out - there could be a she wolf in your closet.

I was eating my breakfast this morning and, per my usual ritual, flipped over to MTV Hits (which plays videos ALL day long) and the new video from Shakira, She Wolf, had just started. All I have to say is, what in the hell is wrong with her? Just watch the video and you'll know why I'm asking this.

Another thing to comment on is how fantastically awful the lyrics are to this song. Here's a sampling:

There's a she wolf in the closet
Open up and set her free
There's a she wolf in your closet
Let it out so it can breathe

To locate the single man, I've got on me a special radar
And the fire department hotline in case I get in trouble later
Not looking for cute little divas or rich city guys, I just want to enjoy
By having a very good time and behave very bad in the arms of a boy

[Image via MixMatters.com]

A robot. Made out of mold. I'm not joking.

A biological bot made out of mold found in forests and gardens. It's true. Researchers at the University of the West of England "say the mould already has inbuilt intelligence � and when completed, Plasmobot will be able to recognise and move tiny objects. "

It's mold. With its own embedded intelligence. "It might also be possible for thousands of tiny computers made of plasmodia to live on our skin and carry out routine tasks freeing up our brain for other things. "

How do you feel about that? I think our brains would like having a break from all the multitasking we do in a day.

Breaking News!!! Michael Jackson may still be alive!

He and Elvis, Tupac, and Biggie Smalls are having tea with the Queen in London. They will all be knighted tomorrow for being the best knights possible: they each faked their own death, which calls for the most coveted knight status, Knight of Ha haaaa.

A cook's dream vacation

This month's issue of Food & Wine has a feature on Hidden Pond in Kennebunk, Maine, which sounds like a dream vacation for any foodie. Enjoy cooking in a well stocked kitchen? Well, this place is perfect. Not only is every cottage equipped with a ridiculous kitchen fit for a top chef, but you can submit a list of groceries you'd like, and nearly everything you order is fresh from someone's farm or the farmers market. And, if you want even fresher veggies? Step outside into the 800 square foot organic garden blooming with fresh herbs, vegetables, and tons of potential. What's even better? Guests can take advantage of the garden whenever they want and as much as they want, free.

"For breakfast, we relied on the canvas bag hung every morning on a little hook inside our screened-in porch. It held a baguette, blueberry muffins and coffee cake (all baked on the premises), a Thermos of coffee, fresh-squeezed orange juice and the New York Times. We ate on the porch and played Monopoly. I found myself too relaxed to try the daily yoga class at Hidden Pond�s lodge�too relaxed, even, to schedule a massage at the spa tent."

Click here to read the full article.

[Image via Rare Brick/Courtesy of Hidden Pond]

What do you think Leo's thinking?

Whistle while you work? Or, I'm not wearing any underwear? Or, I'm Leo F----ing DiCaprio! Or, I'm dating a model...again...I always date models...and not just any model...Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models! Or, HEY...Somebody's faaaaaaaabuuuuuuuuulous!!

[Image via Splash News]

Two tickets to the gun show.

Well, this is interesting. Not exactly the gym outfit I envisioned a hot guy like Ryan Gosling voluntarily wearing out in public, but here he is. Either he's incredibly secure with his manhood, or he spent the night at his girlfriend's house without an overnight bag and woke up the next morning and rummaged through her closet in search of the manliest thing in there...

[Image via Pop Sugar]

Hmmm. Knee holes. Knee holes? Wait. What?

Um not at all sure what's going on with this outfit, but I do know that this woman (who, apparently is a Pussy Cat Doll) must spend an awful lot of time on her knees. Either she's praying for better fashion sense, or she's working her second job (everyone knows that that really skinny chick with the long black hair is the only PCD to make any money, right?)...You be the judge.

[Image via WENN]

Paris Hilton debuts new perfume

Apparently, this is her sixth scent, which she's called "Siren." It sort of fits, because if you can remember that seen in Splash where Darryl Hannah's character tells Tom Hanks' character her name and her voice is so high pitched and horrible that it brakes glass - well, that's what Paris' singing voice sounds like. As for her perfume expertise, I've never smelled any of them, but I heard they smell exactly like their name:

Spoiled Rotten Tranny
Sweet Slutty Sweat
Chihuahua Lover
My Farts Smell like Nacho Cheese
Buy Me a Mercedes, I'll Flash You My Hoo Haas

[Image via Splash News]

Woman identified by her implants

So, this is a pretty sick and disturbing story. When model Jasmine Fiore's body was discovered in a dumpster in Buena Park, Ca. last week her fingers had been cut off and all of her teeth had been pulled out, but thanks to the serial number in her breast implants, Police were able to identify her and start the investigation into her death.

"We actually have had several cases where we identified the victim or the defendant in that way," Orange County District Attorney spokeswoman Susan Schroeder tells People. She says implants carry serial numbers "because of the potential for recalls."

Fiore's ex-husband, reality TV star Ryan Alexander Jenkins, has been charged with her murder, but he's currently on the run somewhere in Canada.

The new going green is going naked?

Well, if your name is Alicia Silverstone, then yes, that's exactly what it means. She's known for being a vegetarian and for being very environmentally conscious, and now she can add naked gardener to that list.

"It probably started when I was doing my garden the first time. I'd be out there, and it would be scorching hot, so I would take off all my clothes and garden. And then I would jump in the pool and swim - and I always get in the pool naked."

Refreshing, sure. Green, yes. Dirty, yes. And, sorry, but I prefer not having soil anywhere near some of my private bits.

[Image via Maxabout.com]

Good luck, Frances!

Can you guess the celebrity / musician spawn? It's Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of the late Kurt Cobain and the undeniably crazy Courtney Love.

[Image via WENN]

Really, PETA?

I'm a vegetarian (except for the occasional seafood meal). I'm also fairly active (not nearly as much as I could/should be). I'm also a big girl. Now, I could be a smallish girl if I tried harder. But, there are people out there who are big but completely healthy, and just can't lose the weight. It's true. I watched a show about it a few months ago. One of the women featured was a personal trainer, and she was 5'8 and 200 pounds. Another lived on a vegetarian diet and exercised daily and she was 5'4 and 170 pounds.

I agree with PETA on several things and I disagree with them on several things. I vehemently disagree with them regarding this ad campaign, and I think it makes them look like idiots. Who are they to judge why a person is overweight, but more importantly, who are they to claim that they know what will make them lose weight? Their intentions are not necessarily pertaining to your healthy lifestyle; they want you to stop eating meat because of the ethical treatment of the animals. They could really care less about your life. So, what better way to get that point across than by offending you to take action against them by possibly going out and having a huge steak dinner tonight?

In their press release, PETA stated:

"Trying to hide your thunder thighs and balloon belly is no day at the beach," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "PETA has a free 'Vegetarian Starter Kit' for people who want to lose pounds while eating as much as they like."

EVERYONE knows that you can eat too much of anything. Even vegetables. PETA has certainly bit off more than they can chew in this instance.

Holy Titanic!

Celine "I am zee greatest ziiiinger in zaaa world!" Dion is pregnant! And she's having another girl. No, boy. No. Wait. It's gotta be your bull.

Meet Trace Cyrus. He'll blow you away with his glock. Haha. It's a squirt gun.

This is Miley Cyrus' brother. This. Is. Miley. Cyrus'. Brother. He's older. And, he's the "rebel." He keeps it real by dating Disney stars and making fun of the Jonas Brothers. Oh, and by getting a tat of his dad's face on his hand. Ohhhhh, you rebel you.

[Image via Daily Fill]

Wait. What? Really. Wait. What?

Apparently this is Steven Tyler at a liquor store in Boston on August 16th. When did Steven become an old lady? And, what is that smile? Is that an, oh my goodness, my dentures are falling out smile? Wow. And those sunglasses... they look like the goggles Johnny Depp wore as Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Seriously. Dude really does look like a lady. A really old lady who likes her afternoon gin and tonic while stroking her cats.

[Image via Boston.com]

Now this is more like it, Rosalie

A few days ago I posted a pic of Nikki Reed and her autrocious outfit. I'm much happier with her today. She looks super casual and smokin' hot. I wish I could see her handbag and shoes, but still. Well done, Rosalie Cullen. Well done.

[Image via Splash News]

Of course this happened

Chris Brown's latest single has been leaked and, well, it's exactly what I expected. Lots of crooning about how he's changed and he still loves some "girl" and that "this ain't over." What ain't over, Chris? I wish your career was over. But, alas, it ain't and you're going to continue making shitty music by way of an apology for beating the shit out of some girl. Way to go! Oh, and, Michael Vick called. He wants his brass knuckle back.

What the what?

Um. Hm. This is interesting. Apparently, pairing a doily with diamonds and a fancy red dress constitutes a great fashion choice for Posh Spice. Bret Michaels is going to be pissed.

[Image via the Daily Fix]

Bounce Sweden style

Jeremy Piven is sensitive

And by sensitive, I mean a douche. He doesn't just play one on TV. And, the one he plays on TV is more likable than his real douchey self. Oh, and nice hair plugs, douche. Seriously, you can deny a lot of things, but you can NOT deny that you were once bald. Well, I guess you can deny it, but, like a lot of other crap you spew forth from your douchey mouth, we don't have to believe you. And, the truth is in the pictures. Oh, and in PCU. AND Ellen. Ha. You can run, but you can't hide.

[Image via Best Week Ever]

Oh, Rosalie Cullen. Tsk tsk.

Do I really need to say anything about this ensemble? The dress: school girlie. The shoes: Jessica Simpsony. The purse: biker bitchy. The hair: crappy.

[Image via Splash News]

In your face Charlie Murphy

Dave Chapelle: Prince plays basketball - watch more funny videos

Sienna Miller doesn't really think

About her clothing choices, that is. So, here's a picture of her doing something somewhere. I'm not sure how old this picture is or where she is, but this is what she had to say: "I probably would be less naive about ignoring the fact that people care. I've always kind of done exactly what my instincts said. I have a good brain on me, but I've never really used it when it came to making decisions about love, which has been a blessing and a curse."

Wait. Wait. She has a good brain on her? And, she's never really used it? On decisions of love? Is she sure it's only been about decisions of love? Because, I'm QUITE certain she hasn't used "it" on decisions of what to wear out in public.

[Image via Splash News]

The point is moot. Definitely moot.

Um, nice face, Rick Springfield. How's all that cosmetic surgery treating you? Your friend Jessie, y'know, that good friend of yours? Well, he's slacking in his friend duties by not telling you to lay off the face reconstruction. Also, stop hanging out with Chriss Angel. You're starting to look like his freaky "I used to be a cool singer in the 80s" twin brother. I bet Jessie's girl is happy she's not your girl. Y'know that mirror you're lookin in, trying to figure out what she don't see in you? I think that mirror needs to be cleaned.

[Image via Pop Sugar]

Beyonce's cheating on Jay Z with... herself.

I was watching Beyonce's new video the other day, Sweet Dream, and it really showcases, yet again, how much Beyonce looooooves Beyonce. I mean, there's no denying that she's hot. She is. Very. And, she can sing. And, she can move. That girl can dance. Yet, I can't help but be annoyed by her constant showboating. And, honestly, quit it with the frickin leotards. That is sooooo early 2009.

[Image via thisismax.com]

Everyone should live barefoot

Barefoot Books, that is. A company dedicated to delivering creative, insightful, and timeless children's books, which was founded by two mothers on a mission to give their children books that would "feed the imagination, while instilling a respect for diversity and a love of the planet."

There's Herb, the vegetarian dragon, a tree full of stories, stories to be told by the fire, and oldies like Jack and the Beanstalk, the Hare and the Tortoise, and the House that Jack Built. Visit the site often for special sales and updates.

Explore. Imagine. Create. Connect. Give Back. That�s what Barefoot Books is all about. It�s exploring other cultures, our planet, ourselves. It�s making time for make-believe and letting imaginations run wild and free. Most of all, it�s about using the power of stories to nourish the creative spark in everyone and strengthen connections with family, the global community, and the earth.